Slowing down, reflect & change when it’s too much

Many people are stressed today in different ways. Yes, I like to write about it since it’s something so common and many people struggle with, including myself. You can divide stress into external and internal stress. Let me explain a little bit about both..

External stress

This stress comes from environmental things such as overcrowding, pollution, work, relationships, financial problems, major life changes, trauma, simple daily hassles etc. A common reason that people are stressed is because of overworking and financial problems, which goes hand in hand. We can work long hours for several days which is not a problem itself but if we never get the rest we need inbetween, it will affect us negatively sooner or later. Some people can last for years working like this while others may only last for a few months or less.

Internal stress

These are stress factors that comes from within like unrealistic expectations, low self esteem, uncertainties etc which comes in form of thoughts and feelings.This is a common form of stress today since we often compare ourselves and our lifes to others. Comparing what they have and what we don’t have, not really listen to what WE actually wan’t. I do this myself at times and it can be very confusing since you have so much input from everywhere and you end up not knowing if those things are what you or others wan’t. Uncertainty is also something we can struggle with since we like to have controll over situations in our lives and when we don’t feel like we have that, it often shows as internal stress.

How can I relate to this?

What I really wan’t to get to here is that I realised a few days ago I have had some of these stress factors myself for a while. I have been working two different jobs since a few months back which in total has ended up as a fulltime hour job, well, that’s what I thought, until I realised a had been working 50+ hours during one week spread over 7 days, so everyday. You might think at least I should have got a good salary? Not really, not better than average and what you get by working less hours.

Except from this, I also have plans to start my own massage and online business which I need both time and money for. So this was not what I expected for myself and I definitely know it’s not sustainable.

I know something has to change right now and I know starting up a business takes time, money and effort. I will look into my current job situation since I know I want more money and time, so I can put enough time to work on my business too. Some people say just go for it, take the risk and make it happen, which I totally agree with to some degree. We need to take some risks in life to be able to grow and create something better for ourselves and others. However, I’m a person who gets stressed very easily, especially from being burned out before, so I feel much better with at least having some kind of stability when it comes to finances, (No, I don’t mean it has to be a 9-5 job 😉), while still working on the things I want to achieve and most important, plan some rest for myself too.

How can we manage these situations?

What I feel is so important in these situations is to pause, don’t keep going as you normally do because obviously it’s not working. You may feel resistance by doing it because it’s uncomfortable and you may be scared of what can come up when doing this. Think of why you are in this place. You have probably not been listening or taking care of yourself enough in a while and now your body has to tell you to stop doing what you are currently doing. So pause and reflect over this, it’s important. If you keep going as usual, it won’t get better, only worse.

Short periods of stress can be good for us, it can keep us going in situations where we should. It’s the long term stress that can eventually make us sick, when we never get the time to rest.

Here is a good time to reflect on your why again. Why am I doing what I do? Is it for me or someone else. Does it help me feel better or reach any goals that I have?

So how can we make ourselves less stressed? Because it’s easier said than done, we all know that. Especially when we are in the middle of all with family, work, sports, kids etc. These are very good tools to use, which is probably not a surprise most of them. I use several of these from day to day and some may work one day but not the other, so don’t think you have to do the same all the time. Whatever works for you that day because that’s the point with it, to feel what you need at certain times and be aware of it to be able to make a change.

• Journaling

A great way to get your thoughts and feelings out of your head. You feel more clarity and sometimes things that seemed super realistic in your head, is not that realistic anymore and it’s easier to let them go.

• Meditation

• Mindfulness

• Yoga

• Exercise

• Nature

• Breathing techniques

Powerful way to calm your nervous system.

• Talking to someone you trust

• Slowing down

• Plan time for yourself in your calendar

If you struggle to even find 1 min for any of these activities, it can be a good idea to plan your day or week and set a specific time for it. Then you can clearly see you will still have time for the things you ”need” to do since they are all in the calendar.

• Community

We all know it’s easy to start new things but not as easy to keep going with them. That’s why a little community of either friends, family or another group is good to have to keep each other accountable, if not even better, doing it together.

Keep it simple

Start small, start simple. Do a 5 min meditation or breathing technique in the morning or evening, take a 15 min walk in nature or sit down and be mindful for 2 min. Mostly you don’t even have to set of time for it, you may get your nature walk or talk to someone on the way to work or be more mindful and slow down when you cook dinner, vacuum or something else in your home. You can easily get these activities into what you are already doing.

Remember all this is up to yourself, to find what works for you. If you are big on taking big risks, go for it! If you want a little bit more security while working on your stuff, do that. The most important is to keep going with what you want and find the balance that works for you. We are supposed to enjoy what we are doing and to figure that out, we need to try. I noticed that how I am living right now isn’t working for me. Even if I like what I’m doing, it still causes me to much stress and I need to find a different way of doing it.